The Forfeit of Intimacy with God

 As we come to salvation there is something that takes place in us.  We come to know God for whom He really is.  We begin to see God as a righteous God, a holy God and a loving father.  When we have an earthly father who loves us and blesses us, and there is an intimacy that springs up between us.  We can know and have an intimate relationship with God in much the same way.

God is also able to have an intimate relationship with us.  Look at the relationship he had with Adam.  They walked together in the garden in the “cool of the day.[i]” They knew each other; there’s understanding there.  God knows each one of us down to our smallest parts.

Luke 12:7 (NKJV)
^12:7 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows.

He even knows how many hairs are on our heads.  That’s a detail we don’t even know about ourselves, but God does.

We, as Christians can often begin with a deep intimate relationship with God, but can that intimacy be lost?  Can we forfeit our intimacy with God?  People forfeit intimate relationships with other people all the time.  Marriage relationships are broken because of infidelity, the breaking of vows.  Family relationships are broken because of domestic violence or other causes.  Parental relationships can be destroyed by abuse and alcohol and drug addiction. 

In many cases those relationships cannot be restored because a refusal to forgive or because the relational trust is broken.  We can forfeit intimacy with God also.  We violate His trust.  We bring deceit and intrigue into the relationship.  Today I want to post on the forfeiture of Intimacy:

Revelation 2:1-3 (NKJV)
^2:1 "To the angel of the church of Ephesus write, 'These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands: ² I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; ³ and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name's sake and have not become weary.

Forfeiting Intimacy with God

In the Book of Revelation Jesus writes a letter to the Ephesians.  He commends them for their labor and patience in persecution.  They continue to labor for God and they despise evil but He also rebukes them.

Revelation 2:4-5 (NKJV)
^2:4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. ⁵ Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place--unless you repent.

Nevertheless, I have this against you; “You have left your first love.”  They’re no longer intimate with God.  They’re still laboring but, in their hearts, they’ve lost the desire for a real relationship with God.  They’re laboring for Jesus because that’s what they do, not because they have a real desire to serve Him.

This isn’t intimacy with God.  It’s a behavior similar to schoolchildren memorizing a poem or a famous speech.  They can repeat them perfectly and still have no understanding of what the poem or speech means.  It’s behavior, there’s no intimacy with the writer, that comes from understanding. 

We can continue to do the things that are called “serving God,” like praying, but without intimacy.  We are just saying words - It’s habit.  We’ve lost the intimacy with God because we have drifted from the call of God on our lives.

David is the king of Israel.  God called him to lead the nation in 1 Samuel 16.  God even called him, “a man after my own heart.”[ii] By 2 Samuel 11, David has lost his desire for what God has called him to do.  He’s become bored and complacent with his calling, and he’s backed off. 

2 Samuel 11:1 NKJV

It happened in the spring of the year, at the time when kings go out to battle, that David sent Joab and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the people of Ammon and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem.

In the springtime when the kings go to war David stays back.  He’s no longer striving for the will of God…he’s arrived!  He’s laying back on his laurels and past victories.  This is a huge contrast to the David whose psalms are filled with cries of worship and devotion.  What could have caused this man to fall from that level of intimacy into what he has become, which is an adulterer and murderer.  David should have led his generals into battle as is the duty of the king. 

In verse 2, David arises from bed one evening.  Not in the middle of the night but in the evening, when the sun is still out.  He sees Bathsheba bathing; lust is kindled and in one moment of sin and self-gratification he forfeits his relationship with God.

2 Samuel 11:2-4a NKJV

Then it happened one evening that David arose from his bed and walked on the roof of the king's house. And from the roof he saw a woman bathing, and the woman was very beautiful to behold. So, David sent and inquired about the woman. And someone said, "Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?" Then David sent messengers, and took her; and she came to him, and he lay with her…

Then to cover his sin he kills Bathsheba’s husband, his friend, Uriah the Hittite.  David makes a conscious choice here; he’s not stumbling around and falling into sin.  He understands the sin of adultery.  He recognizes that the sin is against God.  He understands what he has done.  Look at how many sins David broke, this “man after God’s own heart.”

He broke the tenth commandment, in coveting another man’s wife; the seventh in committing adultery; the eighth in stealing what did not belong to him; and the sixth in committing murder.  All because he had drifted out of the will of God and become complacent in what God had done for him.

I’m positive that he was sure that he couldn’t be led into sin like this. So, where did it start? It started when he stopped responding to the call of God and refused to lead his men into battle.  We are at no less risk than David when we also keep ourselves out of God’s will.   Where is intimacy with God found these days?  In prayer, hearing from God and responding to His call.  Not just saying words but engaging with God.  In the Bible studying and feeding on the word of God. An intimate relationship begins by knowing someone.  You learn whom God is by reading the Bible. In church, hearing the word of God preached.

How well do you know God?  Are you engaged in strengthening your relationship with God?  When we lay back out of those things we are complacent in the same way David was.  When we’re complacent and we’ve seen no consequences, we think that Go will understand, but there is a consequence and it’s subtle. Our mind is no longer trained on His will, our faith is no longer strengthened and we come to a point where we no longer know and understand God like we once did.

That’s when we’re susceptible to sin like David was.  The loss of intimacy isn’t a consequence of sin.  Sin is a consequence of the loss of intimacy.

What About Failure?

What can we do when we fail?  What can we do when we break ranks with God? What we do with our failure is an indicator of the strength of our relationship with God.  At some point we’ll fail, we all do.  It’s not If we fail but when we fail.

In Davd’s case he immediately confessed his sin, not that he sinned against Uriah the Hittite but against God. 

Psalms 51:4 (NKJV)
^51:4 Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight-- That You may be found just when You speak, And blameless when You judge.

David was a man after God’s own heart because of the quality of his repentance.  He longed for a return to that level of intimacy with God.  He realized that he violated that relationship.  His repentance opened the door for restoration.

That’s the key or us as well, it’s restoration we desire.  Failure is not meant to be an end point.  Men have failed many times and returned to success.  Donald Trump failed to win reelection in 2020, but in 2024 he has become the forty-seventh president of the United States.  It’s being called the greatest comeback in American politics.  He could have allowed that failure to destroy him but instead made a decision to move forward.

We can allow our personal failures to destroy us, or we can be like David and cry out to God saying, “I have failed, restore me and draw me back into a relationship with you, the joy of my salvation."

David Had a Right Heart with God

God sent the prophet Nathan to rebuke David for his sin with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah the Hittite.  David had a right heart with God.  He didn’t react to Nathan’s rebuke with anger and hostility.  He recognized his sin, accepted what he had done and immediately turned to God for forgiveness.  He didn’t complain about how the devil had tricked him.  He didn’t blame his sin on Bathsheba for being seen naked.  He turned to Nathan and said, "I have sinned."  Because of the way he accepted his responsibility and repented before God, God put away his sin and didn’t kill him.

God has a history of restoring us back into relationship with Him.  He restored Jonah when he sinned and ran from God’s calling.

Jonah 3:1 (NKJV)
^3:1 Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the second time, saying,

He had tried to hide from God’s command to go to the Ninevites, but after repenting God once more called on him and was able to use him, restoring the intimacy.  God spoke through Jonah once again.

The pot that was marred in the potter’s hand was made new once again.

Jeremiah 18:4 (NKJV)
^18:4 And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make.

Because David cried out for restoration God did restore unto him the joy of his salvation.  He did restore the intimacy between them, and David continued to be a powerful leader of the people of God well into his old age.

Where is intimacy cultivated?  Where is the desire for friendship with God built?  It’s built in prayer, in the study of His word, and in the hearing the preaching of the word of God.  You’re not going to find intimacy with God by lazing around the palace but in diligent obedience to the call of God.

I always say, “Pray, read your Bible, go to church.”  Ninety percent of what I preach is just that, because it is in these things that intimacy with God is first found.

---

[i] Genesis 3:8-9 NKJV

[ii] 1 Samuel 13:14 NKJV

It Matters How You Finish

There’s a book on Amazon.com called, The (Incomplete) Book of Failures:  The Official Handbook of the Not-So-Terribly-Good Club of Great Britain.  The book itself should be mentioned within, though, because when they printed it they left out the first two pages and had to add them in later.  Even the book itself was a failure!

Everyone has a failure at some point in their live.  We all fail; we fail at school; we fail at work; we fail in our walk with Jesus.  The problem with failure is that people often fail and then think, “That’s it – it’s over!” but that doesn’t necessarily have to be true.  Today, I want to post on coming back from failure.

Proverbs 24:16 (NKJV)
^24:16 For a righteous man may fall seven times And rise again, But the wicked shall fall by calamity.

Failure Happens

A righteous man may fall seven times – So our failure doesn’t mean that we’ve been bad.  Failure isn’t a judgment by God.  It can happen to a righteous man, but the righteous man can rise from the failure.

Peter is a perfect example.  Peter was Jesus’ chosen leader, but Peter wasn’t perfect.  Not by any measure of perfection.  Peter was impulsive.  He did things without thinking.

Jesus is walking on the water – Peter gets out of the boat. On the mount of Transfiguration – Peter blurts out that he wants to build tabernacles for Moses and Elijah.  Jesus says He’s going to suffer – Peter rebukes Him.  In the Garden of Gethsemane – Peter cuts of Malthus’ ear.  Jesus sees them on the Sea of Galilee – Peter jumps out of the boat and swims to shore.

That’s just who Peter is – He’s all enthusiasm, but no foresight.  He means well, he just doesn’t always think about the consequences. God can use people like that. 

It speaks of boldness.  He’s not afraid.  It speaks of zeal.  He’ wants to do something for God.  It speaks of action.  He’s not one to sit around and think, think, think.  He does! He’s the original NIKE® man, “Just Do It!”

This is a good thing in some ways.  It makes things happen.  He’s a leader.  He’s not sitting around waiting to be led.  A church can use a guy like that, but when you’re a man of action, there’s always the potential for failure.

Taiwan is an interesting place.  People live under enormous pressure to succeed.  Bosses have unrealistic expectations, sometimes.  There’s no room for failure.  I’m not saying that failure is good. I’m just saying that if you’ve never failed, you’ve never tried to do anything difficult. 

People are going to fail.  Edison didn’t invent the light bulb on the first try.  Lincoln lost a lot more elections than he won.  I know men who’ve tried to pioneer a church, and are back in their home churches because they couldn’t make it work. 

In businesses they have methods for doing things.  Do you know why?  It’s because there were failures along the way that taught them that this is the way to make it all work.  If you want to be successful, there’s going to be failures along the way.

I’ve learned things, because I’ve made mistakes.  I’ve changed because I learned that some things I’ve done and said weren’t helpful in church building.  It’s been a sixteen year process to get where I am today – and I’m still not perfect.  I still make mistakes.  I want to clarify something, though.  If the failure is because you’re lazy, or you’re not putting a hundred percent into it, it’s not a mistake.  It’s not a learning moment.  It’s a decision – You’re looking for failure!  Leadership is hard – you have to be willing to work at it.

Peter wasn’t lazy.  He was always willing to do things.  He was a successful businessman.  He ran a business.  Peter has to learn how to be a disciple.  He’s learning how by making mistakes.

Matthew 16:21-22 (NKJV)
^16:21 From that time Jesus began to show to His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised the third day. ²² Then Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, "Far be it from You, Lord; this shall not happen to You!"

This is a perfect example – Jesus is telling them about all the things that have to happen to Him, in order for him to fulfill the will of God for him and for us.  Peter say, “Oh no, that’s not happening!”  He’s actually rebuking Jesus.  This is a failure; this is a mistake.  These things have to happen.  This is God’s will that Jesus be crucified.  Look at what happens:

Matthew 16:23 (NKJV)
^16:23 But He turned and said to Peter, "Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men."

Ouch – Jesus called Him Satan!  “You’re not mindful of the things of God.  You’re thinking about the things of men.”

You can see where Peter is coming from – He loves Jesus.  He doesn’t want Him to have to suffer and die.  He’s talking without thinking again, and Jesus has to tell him, “It’s not about you, Peter.”

Matthew 16:24-25 (NKJV)
^16:24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. ²⁵ For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

If you want to be my follower you have to deny yourself.  It’s not about what Peter wants – It’s about what God is trying to do for everyone.  Peter’s being selfish, “I don’t want that to happen!”  Jesus said that Satan using you, Peter.  It’s sin – Sin is failure.

Peter’s Biggest Failure

I want to show you the biggest failure in Peter’s life.  This is where things really come apart for Peter.  It takes place on the night of the Last Supper.  Jesus has already sent Judas out to arrange His betrayal.  He’s washed their feet to teach them about leadership, and they are on their way to Jesus’ arrest at Gethsemane.  Of course, the disciples don’t know that, yet.  They think they’re just going to watch Jesus pray.

Matthew 26:31-32 (NKJV)
^26:31 Then Jesus said to them, "All of you will be made to stumble because of Me this night, for it is written: 'I will strike the Shepherd, And the sheep of the flock will be scattered.' ³² But after I have been raised, I will go before you to Galilee."

Jesus begins to warn them that there will be failure for them.  “All of you will be made to ‘stumble’ because of me.”  That word stumble comes from the same word that we get our word scandal from – it means to ensnare – to trip up – to cause to sin – There will be failure, because of what happens to Jesus this night.  Look at what Peter says:

Matthew 26:33 (NKJV)
^26:33 Peter answered and said to Him, "Even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be made to stumble."

“Oh no; no, no, no; Not me, that’s not happening!  They may stumble but not me!  I’m not stumbling.”

Matthew 26:34-35 (NKJV)
^26:34 Jesus said to him, "Assuredly, I say to you that this night, before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." ³⁵ Peter said to Him, "Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!" And so said all the disciples.

We all know what happened, though, don’t we?  Take a look:

Matthew 26:69-74 (NKJV)
^26:69 Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard. And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee." ⁷⁰ But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying." ⁷¹ And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth." ⁷² But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!" ⁷³ And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you." ⁷⁴ Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!" Immediately a rooster crowed.

What happened to “I will follow you even unto death!”?  The Book of Luke says that Jesus looked at Peter and Peter heard the rooster and saw Jesus look at him.

Matthew 26:75 (NKJV)
^26:75 And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." So he went out and wept bitterly.

This is a great failure on Peter’s part.  Where was all the boldness?  Where was all the bravado?  He’d used his sword in the garden, but the boldness went out of him.  His failure was in his fear!  He’d bragged that he would follow Jesus even to death, but at the moment of crisis – He lost his nerve and saw through himself.  He saw the weakness and failure and he wept bitterly.

This could have been the end for him.  This could have been the failure that destroyed him.  We’ve all been knocked down by failure.  We don’t read about Peter at the crucifixion.  When Jesus rises from the dead and they tell him:

Luke 24:11 (NKJV)
^24:11 And their words seemed to them like idle tales, and they did not believe them.

He didn’t believe it – even though Jesus clearly spoke that it would happen.  He’s broken and discouraged – He’s failed – and it could be all over.  For many of us it would be.

It Matters How You Finish

It’s not failure in life that matters – I’ve told you failure happens.  It happens to everyone who tries to do difficult things.  Living for Jesus isn’t always easy.  People fail at living for Jesus, but failure doesn’t have to define us.  It doesn’t mean that it’s over.  It doesn’t matter how you do in life – It matters how you finish.  Peter finished well.

We all know the story Jesus appeared to them on the sea.  Peter finally recognizes Him and jumps into the water and swims to Jesus.  Jesus tells him, “Feed my sheep.”  Three times – because Peter denied him three times.  He restores Peter to usefulness.  Failure wasn’t his end. 

We can read about things Peter did in the Book of Acts.  He stood on Pentecost and led the early church into revival.  He healed the man at the Gate Beautiful.  His shadow healed the lame and sick on the streets.  He preached to Cornelius and saw his family saved and foiled with the Holy Spirit.  He set the church on a trajectory to reach the world.  You can’t look at the early church and remember only Peter’s failure.

I want to tell you one more thing:  Peter’s failure was his denial of Jesus at His trial.  He’d said he would follow Jesus even to death and yet, out of fear, he denied Jesus and wept bitterly.  In the end, though, Peter was crucified for preaching the Gospel in Rome.  He was crucified upside down, because he made a stand for Jesus.  He did end up following Jesus even to death!  It doesn’t matter what you do in life – It matters how you finish.