As we come to salvation there is something that takes place in us. We come to know God for whom He really is. We begin to see God as a righteous God, a holy God and a loving father. When we have an earthly father who loves us and blesses us, and there is an intimacy that springs up between us. We can know and have an intimate relationship with God in much the same way.
God is also able to have an intimate relationship with us. Look at the relationship he had with Adam. They walked together in the garden in the “cool of the day.[i]” They knew each other; there’s understanding there. God knows each one of us down to our smallest parts.
Luke 12:7 (NKJV)
12:7 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows.
He even knows how many hairs are on our heads. That’s a detail we don’t even know about ourselves, but God does.
We, as Christians can often begin with a deep intimate relationship with God, but can that intimacy be lost? Can we forfeit our intimacy with God? People forfeit intimate relationships with other people all the time. Marriage relationships are broken because of infidelity, the breaking of vows. Family relationships are broken because of domestic violence or other causes. Parental relationships can be destroyed by abuse and alcohol and drug addiction.
In many cases those relationships cannot be restored because a refusal to forgive or because the relational trust is broken. We can forfeit intimacy with God also. We violate His trust. We bring deceit and intrigue into the relationship. Today I want to post on the forfeiture of Intimacy:
Revelation 2:1-3 (NKJV)
2:1 "To the angel of the church of Ephesus write, 'These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands: 2 I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; 3 and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name's sake and have not become weary.
Forfeiting Intimacy with God
In the Book of Revelation Jesus writes a letter to the Ephesians. He commends them for their labor and patience in persecution. They continue to labor for God and they despise evil but He also rebukes them.
Revelation 2:4-5 (NKJV)
2:4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place--unless you repent.
Nevertheless, I have this against you; “You have left your first love.” They’re no longer intimate with God. They’re still laboring but, in their hearts, they’ve lost the desire for a real relationship with God. They’re laboring for Jesus because that’s what they do, not because they have a real desire to serve Him.
This isn’t intimacy with God. It’s a behavior similar to schoolchildren memorizing a poem or a famous speech. They can repeat them perfectly and still have no understanding of what the poem or speech means. It’s behavior, there’s no intimacy with the writer, that comes from understanding.
We can continue to do the things that are called “serving God,” like praying, but without intimacy. We are just saying words - It’s habit. We’ve lost the intimacy with God because we have drifted from the call of God on our lives.
David is the king of Israel. God called him to lead the nation in 1 Samuel 16. God even called him, “a man after my own heart.”[ii] By 2 Samuel 11, David has lost his desire for what God has called him to do. He’s become bored and complacent with his calling, and he’s backed off.
2 Samuel 11:1 NKJV
It happened in the spring of the year, at the time when kings go out to battle, that David sent Joab and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the people of Ammon and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem.
In the springtime when the kings go to war David stays back. He’s no longer striving for the will of God…he’s arrived! He’s laying back on his laurels and past victories. This is a huge contrast to the David whose psalms are filled with cries of worship and devotion. What could have caused this man to fall from that level of intimacy into what he has become, which is an adulterer and murderer. David should have led his generals into battle as is the duty of the king.
In verse 2, David arises from bed one evening. Not in the middle of the night but in the evening, when the sun is still out. He sees Bathsheba bathing; lust is kindled and in one moment of sin and self-gratification he forfeits his relationship with God.
2 Samuel 11:2-4a NKJV
Then it happened one evening that David arose from his bed and walked on the roof of the king's house. And from the roof he saw a woman bathing, and the woman was very beautiful to behold. So, David sent and inquired about the woman. And someone said, "Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?" Then David sent messengers, and took her; and she came to him, and he lay with her…
Then to cover his sin he kills Bathsheba’s husband, his friend, Uriah the Hittite. David makes a conscious choice here; he’s not stumbling around and falling into sin. He understands the sin of adultery. He recognizes that the sin is against God. He understands what he has done. Look at how many sins David broke, this “man after God’s own heart.”
He broke the tenth commandment, in coveting another man’s wife; the seventh in committing adultery; the eighth in stealing what did not belong to him; and the sixth in committing murder. All because he had drifted out of the will of God and become complacent in what God had done for him.
I’m positive that he was sure that he couldn’t be led into sin like this. So, where did it start? It started when he stopped responding to the call of God and refused to lead his men into battle. We are at no less risk than David when we also keep ourselves out of God’s will. Where is intimacy with God found these days? In prayer, hearing from God and responding to His call. Not just saying words but engaging with God. In the Bible studying and feeding on the word of God. An intimate relationship begins by knowing someone. You learn whom God is by reading the Bible. In church, hearing the word of God preached.
How well do you know God? Are you engaged in strengthening your relationship with God? When we lay back out of those things we are complacent in the same way David was. When we’re complacent and we’ve seen no consequences, we think that Go will understand, but there is a consequence and it’s subtle. Our mind is no longer trained on His will, our faith is no longer strengthened and we come to a point where we no longer know and understand God like we once did.
That’s when we’re susceptible to sin like David was. The loss of intimacy isn’t a consequence of sin. Sin is a consequence of the loss of intimacy.
What About Failure?
What can we do when we fail? What can we do when we break ranks with God? What we do with our failure is an indicator of the strength of our relationship with God. At some point we’ll fail, we all do. It’s not If we fail but when we fail.
In Davd’s case he immediately confessed his sin, not that he sinned against Uriah the Hittite but against God.
Psalms 51:4 (NKJV)
51:4 Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight-- That You may be found just when You speak, And blameless when You judge.
David was a man after God’s own heart because of the quality of his repentance. He longed for a return to that level of intimacy with God. He realized that he violated that relationship. His repentance opened the door for restoration.
That’s the key or us as well, it’s restoration we desire. Failure is not meant to be an end point. Men have failed many times and returned to success. Donald Trump failed to win reelection in 2020, but in 2024 he has become the forty-seventh president of the United States. It’s being called the greatest comeback in American politics. He could have allowed that failure to destroy him but instead made a decision to move forward.
We can allow our personal failures to destroy us, or we can be like David and cry out to God saying, “I have failed, restore me and draw me back into a relationship with you, the joy of my salvation."
David Had a Right Heart with God
God sent the prophet Nathan to rebuke David for his sin with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah the Hittite. David had a right heart with God. He didn’t react to Nathan’s rebuke with anger and hostility. He recognized his sin, accepted what he had done and immediately turned to God for forgiveness. He didn’t complain about how the devil had tricked him. He didn’t blame his sin on Bathsheba for being seen naked. He turned to Nathan and said, "I have sinned." Because of the way he accepted his responsibility and repented before God, God put away his sin and didn’t kill him.
God has a history of restoring us back into relationship with Him. He restored Jonah when he sinned and ran from God’s calling.
Jonah 3:1 (NKJV)
3:1 Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the second time, saying,
He had tried to hide from God’s command to go to the Ninevites, but after repenting God once more called on him and was able to use him, restoring the intimacy. God spoke through Jonah once again.
The pot that was marred in the potter’s hand was made new once again.
Jeremiah 18:4 (NKJV)
18:4 And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make.
Because David cried out for restoration God did restore unto him the joy of his salvation. He did restore the intimacy between them, and David continued to be a powerful leader of the people of God well into his old age.
Where is intimacy cultivated? Where is the desire for friendship with God built? It’s built in prayer, in the study of His word, and in the hearing the preaching of the word of God. You’re not going to find intimacy with God by lazing around the palace but in diligent obedience to the call of God.
I always say, “Pray, read your Bible, go to church.” Ninety percent of what I preach is just that, because it is in these things that intimacy with God is first found.
